an old kanji for Kaya

This shell, today is full
Of veins
Pumping.
In the dark.
I feel them, beneath
Tight skin
Stretching.
Under my roots.
Some blood, blotted
With careful
Meanings.
By those fingers.

Your nails are too sharp
To tend such close wounds
My head is a wastebasket
Full of spent escape routes

This shell, today is cruel
to salt laden
careening.
Pushing that scab.

I won’t notice anymore
That my dropped head stops
Now with every pulsebeat
Wondering about this time.

Bleeding is so boring now.
But this shell is all I know