Hasui
Kyoto, 1923

The Life with a Hole in it

When I throw back my head and howl
People (women mostly) say
But you've always done what you want,
You always get your own way
-- A perfectly vile and foul
inversion of all that's been.
What the old ratbags mean
Is I've never done what I don't.

So the shit in the shuttered chateau
Who does his five hundred words
Then parts out the rest of the day
Between bathing and booze and birds
Is far off as ever, but so
Is that spectacled schoolteaching sod
(Six kids, and the wife in pod,
And her parents coming to stay)...

Life is an immobile, locked,
Three-handed struggle between
Your wants, the world's for you, and (worse)
The unbeatable slow machine
That brings what you'll get. Blocked,
They strain round a hollow stasis
Of having-to, fear, faces.
Days sift down it constantly. Years.

Philip Larkin, 1974

how can you sleep with someone when you know you are going to commit suicide?

too little too late
some people should never have been born
there is no way out
some pieces can't be
put back together
courage to do what
should never be done
just putting order back
in the universe
such as I've known it
too little as always
pure ruination soon
disappears into nothing
I hope...I hope

if I said I would, it wouldn't matter
but I probably would say it anyway

downy mildew
"offering"
directed by M.Stipe
me friends...in low-tech low-fi